I never really gave much thought about the actual process of writing, or even that it was a process at all. I liken it to brushing my teeth or walking or breathing. It’s just something I do. And while we all get a little writer’s block from time to time, like constipation, eventually you know that something’s gonna give.
So when a friend recently asked me to blog about "signs" (no smoking, no parking, caution-crime scene etc) I thought "Sheesh. What could I possibly write about signs that would be interesting, sardonically humorous or even remotely relevant?" Enter Pom Cosmos because hey, it’s five o’clock somewhere…
I ran the gamut of possibilities while simutaneously finishing my second cosmo, when I began to open up to the idea of writing about something as mundane as a sign. To write something funky and tie it in with hard hats or crime scene tape or ‘Please curb your dog’ was becoming increasingly sexy, as I considered switching from the Pom Cosmos to Appletinis. I then made the critical mistake of MENTIONING to my husband what i was writing about and why, which then turned into a twenty minute diatrabe on his part of how webpage traffic works and statistics and penny a hit and bitemyfuckingassinmacy’s window – and – by the time I was done trying to get a possible creative word in edgewise, I went back into my office and couldn’t even frikin spell my name let alone remember what it was i was going to write about, which I think was fairly humorous, in an industry-relevant sort of way. Writer’s block. I needed a brain laxative.
I diverted my attention to a few sites that help me get back into a writer’s groove. Oneword.com is a great place to do some impromptu "first thing that pops into your head" exercises with a single word prompt at the top of the page and a ready set cursor in place. Here the creators invite you to write about what the word inspires in you and to write about that, as opposed to just using the word in a sentence.
Another favorite is Creativewritingprompts.com. Here you’ll find over three hundred prompts for you to chose from to get the ideas rolling again.
Also www.infoplease.com where you’ll find the best first lines of novels, as chosen by the editors of American Book Review. Nothing like a little Jane Austen to unplug the proverbial brain cork.
Opting out of the Appletini and instead, going for a lo-fat decalf latte, otherwise known as "Whats the point?" I perused through the sites and did some of the exercises to try to clear my mind and get back on track. Eventually I did and it all worked out. I was able to get the piece in, just two minutes and twenty two seconds before deadline.
Note to self –
Leave husband out of creative process and fuh shizzle, don’t try to ‘scuss anything after two cosmos, Pom or otherwise.
There should be a sign about that.